What did you think of last night before falling asleep? What was the first thing to cross your mind this morning when you woke up? Now that I’ve asked, do you wish you could re-think it? (I did. I wished those thoughts hadn’t been so mundane and functional, that they had been about what really matters.)
Because for me, what I care most about in this crazy life is love. People, of course, and places, experiences, animals and adventures. Flower gardens and hand-sewn quilts, canoes, sunsets and weeping willow trees. I am ultimately infatuated and curious about the human condition, especially when it comes to love. Whatever it is that you wrap your heart around, that is what I’m most interested in. Who still makes your heart beat so fast after so many years? Who kissed you first? Who makes you blush? What did you feel the first time you saw your child? This is what matters to me. And though it’s not at all the sort of things that you can just go up and ask people, it seems to be what I think about.
I can’t explain it, but I care way more who and what elicits your broadest smiles than I do about what you do for a living. I wonder where you lay your heart when you’re sad. Who gets the most terrified or elated parts of you? Where is your safest place? Who knows you by heart? To me, these things supersede everything else a thousand times over, and say so much more about your character.
I’m thinking about all of this because I’ve been waffling a bit when it comes to writing here. I didn’t really know this, not until I noticed a trend of mostly writing about my pets. Which is fine, they make for excellent characters, but that really isn’t the point. I think the point is that I’m unsure what I’m willing to lay out, what I’m willing to answer to. I don’t know what to let out into the light and what to leave as merely mine. It’s also been brought to my attention by a few people that the things I don’t write are present anyway, as if they are conveyed somehow by the tone of my voice. This makes me wonder if I should just start introducing the elephants in the room. If maybe I’m supposed to.
So what do you, wonderful person who actually comes to this site to hear me ramble on about my life, what do you want to hear about? You take time out of your busy day to read my words, and I wonder what it is that you think about…
I’m not making any promises, but I do wonder. And I’d love to hear your thoughts, your stories, and your answers to any of the questions that I’ve posed…
Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear the story of your life. What got you where you are?
For the record, the big grey asshole cracks me up. Seriously. I get a kick out of the pet stories, but only because you write them so well.
And I liked the Joey story, too. The one about the fishing, and what you would do for a million dollars.
I don't know. For me, I use my blog as a journal. I don't want it to be a soapbox...I don't want it to be an advertisement. Now and then it is serious. But mostly, I want it so I can remember all of this mundane stuff that goes on day in and day out.
We'll talk more in person about this, but I just want to offer a little warning to be careful - with your heart, and the hearts of the others who enter into your stories, even if only tangentially. Anyone can stumble here, can land here via Google, and if you poke around the blogosphere you will discover that trolls crawl out of the wordwork and spew vitriol anonymously in the comments section of many a blog.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, please do share more of yourself. Tell us your stories. But be careful. Love to you my dear. Wonderful seeing you today.
wtg tootie u took a shot now start running with the ball u have my full support u can do this. u have the voice. still though being said somewhere is an excellent charecter and would make a great childrens book about her lol. As far as what i think about the one question i have if u dare to venture into my mind is why ? u take the why anywhere u want .
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